Cancer Sucks!!

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We have found out my sweet hubbies cancer came back and he has brain cancer and his Mantel cell non Hodgkin  lymphoma  came back double whammy!!! Today one of his daughters came today i do feel for them . They have only seen him like 3 times in 6 yrs they do talk by phone . He married me almost 5 yrs ago they were ok with me being his girlfriend only . He and his wife divorced after many years of marriage . I met him 8 yrs after his divorce. Well one came today and i asked her could she stay with him for 20 minutes while i went to get gas for my suv for tomorrow..  My mom comes to watch my hubbie and i go to town to get few things done . I came back and she was bringing him inside from our work shop!! he was out in 92 degree weather and he cant walk alone with out walker now and he was sweating and our steps  on deck don’t have rail!! I said why ??? She said he wanted to go out . I told  her he could fell down .. She said she call 911 if she called 911 and not hospice . Then hospice will be null and void with us. Hes not allowed outside due to his stability this woman is 42 yrs old shes no kid !!! could of waited for me to return back .. I was only gone under 20 minutes !!!

Sigh !!! I never leave him alone  with her . I’m with him 24/7 im beyond tired mentally . She brought her grown kids ( which im glad i like them) but ..brought 3 min pins

( miniature pinchers  )Leave damn dogs home its only 2 hr trip here . One daughter brought he huge dog too  ( 2 days ago ) i told them to leave them on porch . I do have a dog i do put up when people come as courtesy . Ok im ranting and raving hugs all remember to love each other  Time is preciousness

Window Shopping.

Window Shopping

Morning all its 6:30am i am posting before i take Hubby for MRI of the brain.  We have this is what oncologist has ordered all these test due to she thinks cancer hasn’t come, back

Cant figure out how or why hes not eating. I am the food pusher!! I only got 200 calories out of him yesterday its so frustrating rating seeing him this way . I am also his pill pusher tha’ts a chore to get him to take his meds but i do . I used to be Nurse asst when i met him years ago .  I didn’t think id be doing this with this man that was extremely healthy and strong . Let me post this  im getting my mom to come so she can drop us at door and i can get him inside ( which is closer to the door ) hugs all make your day the most of it as you can and love your love ones .

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As A Women We All Try To Be Superwoman

As A Women We All Try To Be Superwoman

Morning its about 9:30 am  I am super tired. Yesterday i took RL to our  Doctor about hr away i don’t do well driving in pouring down hard rain but i did it . He hasn’t lost any weight but not gained any weight. His blood pressure and oxygen level is good .

They have ordered a prescription for him eating . It will give urge to eat . Its 300.00 he is on medicare hes over 65 and retired but the pharmacy doesn’t let us use a coupon from offline . hes so worth it !!! I’m praying it will work . Hes drinking plenty of water . Our doctor say he can eat plenty of carbs !! I wish i could I wish could give him some of my weight lol . jk He had Pet scan yesterday too . ( long ass day ) Nothing today and i can get house in order and post.

Thursday is a MRI of the brain to see if its any thing else. If all is clear then it  was late delay in the chemo making him lose weight but it shouldn’t be . He doesn’t want to eat hes afraid he will get sick . Ok not most cheerful Post but its what im living with .. Its called life after cancer with your RL . Hugs all and remember enjoy your rl to fullest

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Counting The Things I Need To Do

Counting The Things I Need To Do

Hello all .. My Real life came home from Hospital On Friday. Its been long and frustrating few days. I am tired and with no sleep. Hes eating a little not much . Thank goodness his voice isn’t weak any more. We sat out on our screened in Porch with our dog yesterday before sun came to that side of house . I bought new porch blinds and he cant put them up now. My husbands Niece came by with peach cobbler for his Birthday today .

I didn’t invite her in due to hes so weak and was sleeping. Yes we both wore masks! Hubbie has 2 doctors appointments tomorrow, Our regular doctors in Morning and he has Pet Scan at 2pm and MRI on  Thursday and Wednesday home nurse is coming . Whew!!!

I know most of you are thinking why is she even on SL still . I park about 70% of the day I have about 3 friends i talk to once in blue moon  on SL most have left game and i try not to bother the rest due to they play “the game ” more than i do i just blog that’s it and IM once and while.  . between me about closing down our home business now due to RL not being able to work . While hes sleeping and watching tv a little i do my photos i need to leave few sponsors im sure. …Ok i need to post this and post in FLICKR . You all make the most out of life .. Even were going threw a pandemic .. Hugs and love each other never know when you time will be limited …

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I Have The Cake .. Do You Have The Forks?

I Have The Cake Do You Have The Plates

Well i haven’t blogged in days. My RL is in hospital . Its pretty bad he has dropped from 138 pounds to 119 pounds to 109 … When he had cancer he never was sick  during it and didn’t lose any weight and worked in our business

He had his body scan and showing NO Cancer this week  coming back . But he wont eat and cant walk down steps and can hardly get dressed Our Doctor had him admitted to ER Wednesday . I didn’t go yesterday due to he needed to be on IV’s the visiting hours are cut back due to virus. I will go today to take his robe and underwear and see him for short time i know it will tire him out . I’m afraid he wont bounce back. I miss him so much and i’m praying for a miracle !!! He had dangerous UTI effected his kidneys and almost got septic . We dont’ know what is effecting his non eating it could be connected to the UTI the infection I will know more later today i hope . Hugs all you have good day

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Cool Breeze

Cool Breeze

Good Morning . Its another day !! I know im driving my RL Nuts anytime he does something i say can i help you .. Can you do it ? ( again to all he has cancer) Tomorrow we will find out if its come back. Hes still not eating any thing. for past few weeks hes lost over 15 plus pounds. I call my mom daily to just talk. ( shes driving me crazy lol ) She wants me to sell house ( which i will have to if something happens) I am not on the loan im on deed. I haven’t worked in 4 yrs I work on our home business . I cant take over the loan.  So mom wants me to move in with her … NEVER LOL  I love her and her home is huge ( 4,000 sq feet) upstairs is bathroom 2 bed rooms  huge den . My dog cant have reign of house and has to be confined with baby gate upstairs. I need personal space. I know the money of house wont get me but for 2  yrs living at least. But it will be worth it.

I know sounds morbid talking about this .. I know something is going on with hubbie being ill not eating hands shaking and being weak . This is my therapy for me so if it bothers you just look at clothing part. You have good Sunday please!!! give your families a big hug!!

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A Little Bit Of Mystery

A Little Bit Of Mystery

Morning .. RL has had his scan yesterday. We wont know out come until Monday. I cant come in to Oncologist office with him due to they dont’ allow visitors due to the virus.

We think its Mantel cell Non Hodgkin lymphoma  coming back or another cancer or its the thrush he has. He hasn’t eaten regular meal in 2 weeks or more. He only weighed 130 pds in first place and is now down to 115 pounds. I’m so glad my friend from high school and i keep in touch threw Facebook we messenger a lot yesterday .. I so needed or need a friend . I’ve had 2 of my friends die in past 2 yrs. ( One was my sl hubbie he will have passed away 3 yrs in January .. Six yrs together texting calling and emailing . I still talk to him ( i know he hears me !! smiles) Gosh i truly miss him ….I hear what his answer would be .. He called me nickname ( of my RL name) Baby your so strong and you can do this ! ( he was my biggest cheerleader )

I know i have to go threw this i cant go around it . I cant go around it , I cant go under it, I cant go over it . I hope i didn’t depress you . This is really for my outlet part of my blog.

Hugs hold your RL or SL friends family real tight!!! You never know what may happen,

Hugs all !!!!

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Tangerine Dream

Tangerine DreamMorning all .. I have taken few days to get things together. My husband (RL) as you all know has had difficult times  with different cancers. He has thrush now. He has lost over 15 pds and extremely weak just recently . We hope its the thrush and not cancer coming back. ( sigh) he finished chemo in February . He has body scan this week and his oncologist will read the results next week. Watching your spouse go down hill is most stress full thing. I do park a lot in Sl but with my blogging it takes my mind away for few hrs off and on .

I cant go to my moms due to virus she lives down road from me about 5 miles we do talk daily . I need a hug from her but with this virus i cant chance it with her or me to give to my husband. My grown kids are working from home . They dont know my husband is taking turn for worse, I wont tell them till next week when we find out . Ok all im off to post really late i don’t get to bed until 3 am watching tv and my mind is all over place .

Hug your family you never know what is in store for you .

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Some Of Best Times Are Times Alone

Some Of Best Times Are Times Alone

Yes another night of watching late night CNN watching the protesters. Its happening all over the United States. I’m worried about the Virus spreading also. The safety of every one. I wont get into how i feel 😦 Due to My political views I wont put on my blog .. If people know me they know my thoughts. Hugs all be safe its almost 10am my time off to post .

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Grown Up Tea Party !

its a purple morning

Morning . There is so many sad things happening in United States its breaking my heart. This isn’t what should be happening . I’m not going to get on my soap box  With that this morning . I did photo last night and wasn’t happy with it and rushed up stairs to do another. I am OCD with my photos . Is why i cant do but one a day to post  not like most do 2 3 4 ect a day . I’m on a 4 yr old laptop i bought it for SL when i was working at Big Daddy’s club with my second life hubby ( he was Sr DJ and i a Host we worked there for 6 yrs he is first Dj when they opened yrs ago) ( he has pasted away 3 yrs this upcoming January . It has 16 gigs good for crowed events ,  but for photos not so much ! I’m not a graphic designer.

One of my paint programs is ending in December due to its on flash player 😦  Sigh i need to find new one ( i have 2 already that came with my laptop ) That one i use just to tweek it . If you know of any good EASY ( For slow learning old ladies let me know lol ) Even though i have been in second life since day it was in Beta .. I know a lot about the game but i know not tons about blogging as you can see lol . I know there are people that awe me how wonderful they are I know i wont ever be on that level and im fine with that im to old to be jealous lol !! Ok you all have good Thursday and be safe !!

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